Hold My Hand

This weekend I was supposed to be in California.

Friday, meet with my coach for an in-person session and some cold plunge-sauna rotations.

Saturday, hang with my fellow AGC financial advisors at our annual event before the FutureProof Conference.

Sunday, catch some face time with friends in town for the conference, and then head back home to make sure Ang didn’t have to scramble getting the boys to and from all their activities on her own.

In the weeks leading up to the trip, I had some reservations as I’d been out of town a couple of weeks prior for my annual trip to Sedona, followed by a weekend trip to Detroit for Leo’s soccer. I felt a little guilty knowing I’d be heading to sunny California for a few days while the boys had activities I didn’t really want to miss, and I’d be putting Ang in a stressful situation to make it all happen.

However, I still planned to attend because I felt I needed to be at our annual event, as the AGC is one of my professional babies.

And then Silas shared his disappointment that I’d miss another one of his soccer games—the first I was in Sedona, the second in Detroit, and last week there wasn’t a game because of Labor Day.

That was the end of the trip to California.

It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was.

My heart was speaking loud and clear, telling me there was no way I could miss Silas’s game, in addition to all of the other things I felt bad about not being home for.

I cancelled my flight.

I cancelled my hotel.

I cancelled my session with my coach.

I was surprised by the feeling of relief that came over me once I had everything cancelled, and I casually let the community know I’d be staying home with the fam instead of being with them—I’d be there in spirit.

Since I was home on Friday, I was able to meet Silas at school and walk with him.

On our walk home, he grabbed my hand and held it as we walked.

What a gift I was given.

Silas is seven, soon to be eight. He’s already told me multiple times when I’ve gone to grab his hand that he’s too old to hold my hand, but for some reason, he reached up and took my hand as we walked and talked.

Not a bald eagle, just as strong a sign from The Divine that I had made the right decision.

I don’t know how many more times that will happen, but I’m glad that I was home to experience it.

Making the decision we know is most aligned with what is most important to us isn’t always easy.

But as I’ve written about before, your heart will never steer you wrong, and the more you listen to it, the easier it becomes to take action quickly without thinking your Self out of the decision you are supposed to make.

Yes, I’m bummed to miss The AGC event, but I know they’ll all have a great time and the community will be stronger after the time together—it doesn’t need me there.

Yes, I’m bummed to miss catching up with friends that I don’t get to see often enough, but I know with 5,000 people in town for the conference, they will be busy catching up with others—they probably won’t realize I’m not there.

Yes, I’m bummed to miss hopping the cold plunge and sauna, spending time in person with Phil, but I know he’s got a son heading off to college soon so his time is better spent with him—plus, I just signed up for another year of working with him, so I’ll have four more chances to visit him in person.

I’m sure there’s an even bigger reason I was supposed to stay home that will reveal itself in time, but I don’t need to know what it is right now.

That handhold was enough.

Keep pursuing,

JC