stepping into a new role

I’ve read several books suggesting that our souls come to this life with lessons to learn. This belief explains why sometimes bad things happen to good people—their lesson might be resilience or perseverance. This is a relatively new concept for me, so I’m not sure I believe it yet, but I can definitely see how it might be true.

I’ve stepped into a new role, which I’m sure is designed to teach me a lesson and help me grow.

I’ve shared in the Daily Notes how we found out my oldest son has impingements in both of his hips and a tear in his right labrum. The injury led him to miss the last month of his freshman basketball season, and will most likely lead to him missing his AAU season and drastically changing what his summer training will look like. He goes back to the surgeon on 3.18, so we’ll know more then, but even with my optimism, I don’t see how he avoids surgery since he is not giving up basketball and has goals (and the ability) of playing in college. Thankfully, the procedure isn’t major, and the recovery period should have him ready for his sophomore season.

I obviously would never want Roman to miss part of his season or have to have surgery, but I know this is to help him learn to overcome adversity, increase his work ethic, and test his perseverance—I have no doubt.

With his injury and recovery, even if he avoids surgery, I’ve been given the opportunity to step into a new role: a guide. The role of a guide isn’t technically new for me, as this is how I show up professionally with my clients, but it’s new for me with the boys—I plan to show up in this role for Leo as well, as he continues to pursue his goal of playing soccer in college (and beyond).

My role as a guide for the boys will focus primarily on habit-building, training, nutrition, recovery, and mindfulness. I believe the lessons in this role as a guide are going to be patience, communication, learning when to push and when to let them learn on their own (which might be defined as surrendering), and motivation. I also think I’ll learn more lessons about my own habit-forming, discipline, and time management.

At the end of this summer, or maybe it lasts longer, I hope that Roman and Leo no longer need me to act as their guide in these areas—they are self-motivated, have built their habits, understand what it takes from a physical and mental preparation standpoint, and have developed their own mindfulness practices.

I will always be there to help them and be that guide as they need it for their personal evolution, but the guide role will be more passive than it is now.

Knowing my boys and my Self, I’m fully aware that the lessons I’m going to learn are going to be a test. But I cannot be more excited for the tests and learning them because they will be taught in the weight room, at the track, in the cold plunge and sauna, and about mindfulness, which means a ton of quality time with them.

Stepping into this new role started today, as I told Roman last night, after the varsity team was upset in the IHSAA sectional finals, that the prep for next season starts today. This afternoon we picked him up from his friends house after an overnight for a birthday, and we hit the Fishers Community Center, got an upper body lift in (no lower body for awhile), shot a ton of free throws, worked on form shooting close in so there was no jumping, ball handling, and ended with a little bit of game-like (not game speed) catch and shooting.

Silas trying to be like his big brother.

Later today, we’ll spend some time talking about mindfulness, and I’ll give him his first book to read.

I know this type of work isn’t the exciting part of training, but I also know that a summer of focusing on getting stronger, regaining conditioning, working more fundamentals (because he can’t do much), and taking control of his mind will bring more progress than he realizes or wants to believe.

And with that, we’re both into the new relationship.

This evening, I’ll rework my calendar to prioritize our workouts and mindfulness time, so I show up for them as they need me.

I can’t speak for Roman and Leo, but I’m excited to step into this new role and to do the work ahead of us because all three of us will come out on the other side better, and I’m hoping even closer.

Keep pursuing,

JC