self-preservation
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.”
-Audre Lorde
It is easy to fall into the trap of sacrificing your Self in order to serve others. Many of us strive to be selfless to take care of others—our family, clients, friends, and even strangers. What we fail to realize is that being too selfless is actually selfish.
We are placing our desire to help others, often rooted in love and coming from a good place, above taking care of our Selves. It might take a while to realize this, but this act of selflessness is actually selfish because the people we are trying to serve do not receive the best version of our Selves, and we cannot serve them at our highest capability. Our wanting to be and say we are “selfless” is self-serving, aka selfish, and robs those we care about from getting our best.
But by taking care of our Selves first, which might look selfish to the outside world, we are able to bring our best to those we care about and are looking to serve.
I find my Self currently correcting this.
In the past, I’ve sacrificed workouts, eating healthy, and sleep for others. This time, I’ve sacrificed white space on my calendar. Over the last few weeks, I’ve lost control of my calendar—totally on my own accord—because I want to show up for my family, clients, other advisors, friends, and strangers who reach out for advice. This has led me to feel a bit overwhelmed, to be running from one meeting to another,
Thankfully, it hasn’t impacted my peace of mind, state of flow I’ve been operating in for months, or prioritizing my physical health…yet. But I know if I keep this up, those things will begin to suffer.
So I’m revisiting my ideal day. I’m leaning into technology to help me avoid overloading my days. I’m noticing the feeling of overwhelm and how much I hate it. And I’m protecting my future weeks to avoid falling back into this false selflessness.
Taking care of your Self, your self-preservation, is not always physical, so be sure not to overlook the other areas of your alignment that you might be sacrificing.
See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,
JC
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