the stories we tell our Selves
This weekend, I was reminded of just how cruel our minds can be. Cruel might be an exaggeration of what I experienced, but I know how my thoughts could have spiraled out of control, causing things to be much worse.
Without getting into all of the details, as a part of the announcement of the rebrand from RLS Wealth to Santiago, I decided I’d send an email to a handful of people who have been positive influences on me and supportive of me over the last ten years, as I went on my personal Pursuit to get to where and who I am today. I wanted to take an opportunity to thank them for the support, remind them of the impact they’ve had on me, and give them an update on what I was focusing on going forward–basically give them their flowers.
The response to this email was not what I expected.
A couple of positive responses, which I greatly appreciated.
A bunch of no responses, which was ok because I wasn’t seeking validation.
A random text from a friend who did not receive my email about the email.
With the lack of responses and the text, my mind went into overdrive creating narratives that I noticed impacted my mindset, triggering emotions that I didn’t want to sit in for long.
“Even though I didn’t write for a response, I would have expected something—wonder why they didn’t respond?”
“Did my email go to spam?”
“Did someone really forward my email to another person? What did they say about me when they forwarded it?”
“Maybe the people I thought were my supporters really aren’t.”
And on, and on, and on my mind went.
Thankfully, I caught it.
I reminded my Self that the purpose of the email was not for validation. It was not to get feedback. It was to provide an update and to give flowers–that was it.
I reminded my Self that there are infinite possibilities for what happened once the email was received. And, if any of my stories were true, then I at least knew that relationships truly had changed, and I could move on with that understanding.
I reminded my Self of all of the positive feedback I had already received; I realized that maybe a part of me was seeking validation and approval, and I had lied to my Self—so stupid!
It also reminded me that I had a couple of younger advisors with whom I hadn’t responded to their emails after a couple of days—I emailed them immediately upon remembering this.
And I finally reminded my Self, that living in the past, many of these individuals were important parts of my past and still in my life, but we now play different roles in each other’s journeys, can keep me from moving forward.
And all of this is true for you as you continue to pursue your authentic life.
I’ve written and spoken many times about how your mind is your most powerful ally or can be your worst enemy. A simple email could have taken me down had I let my mind continue to tell stories, keeping me focused on that email, random scenarios that may or may not be true, and eventually believing a false negative narrative.
Keep an awareness of your mind, the stories it tells you, and how you begin to feel because of these stories. It’s not if but when you will experience a similar situation. The sooner you can recognize, process, possibly learn something about your Self (I did), and redirect your mind, the better off you will be, and you’ll be back on your way to your authentic life.
See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,
JC
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