the struggle of letting go
Earlier this week, I experienced my first energy mapping session, and it was really cool. I’ve begun to enjoy exploring these different tools that I probably definitely would have dismissed in the past–I have yet to experience one that hasn’t made sense to me where I was at that time.
This particular session covered multiple relevant areas, but in particular, there was a lot of energy and conversation around “letting go” in simple terms. I’ve written about the importance and difficulty of letting go as we evolve with our Authentic Life–identities, people, possessions, habits, etc. The topic has been on my mind since coming home from the Integrated Wealth Advisor retreat earlier this month, so I’m not surprised it showed up in my reading.
I noted its presence but didn’t spend much time with it after the reading.
Then yesterday, I had a couple of letting-go moments. They may seem small, but for me, they are actually pretty big and important—both tied to identity, which is often the hardest to let go.
The first:
I realized that yesterday was a former mentor of mine's birthday. For the last couple of years, as our relationship evolved, I would always send a text to say happy birthday — I did it genuinely, but also hoping to make sure he didn't forget about me. It was 85% happy birthday and 15% don’t forget about me.
This year, I did not send a text message. Not out of spite. Not to be a jerk. Not from a place of low energy. But from a space of acceptance that the relationship is no longer what it once was, and that I don't need to keep trying to hold onto it anymore. It was an awesome chapter when we were closer, and we'll always be cool, just not birthday-text cool anymore.
As I said, it sounds minor, but it was a big letting go of a past version of my Self.
The second:
I realized that I need to let go of the hope/want that someone else will help me get where I want to go — specifically, with speaking and my content.
I was looking at the agenda of an event and had a moment of jealousy of some of the people speaking, and then frustration as the organizers of this event are friends, a company I support and have for years, and are in a position to help me get my break speaking on the topics I want to talk about. I've even sent a proposal for a talk and/or a small workshop for their events but didn't make the cut.
As I sat with those feelings, I had an empowering realization: no one is going to give me my break — I am going to have to create it myself. I am going to haveto create my own opportunities and pour more into them—Keep Pursuing talks, more videos, more podcasts, more writing, finishing my book, launching PRST Ruck club, and PRST yoga in the park.
I don’t think I realized how much I was subconsciously hoping/wanting/waiting for someone to give me my big break.
That may sound negative, but it truly comes from an inspired, motivated space– it might have been the final thing I needed to fully commit to putting on my blinders.
This realization also reminded me that I want to be able to help give people their “break” however I can–which I’ve shared a little in my AlignedLife Podcast Manifesto. I’ve always enjoyed being a cheerleader and champion for others, and if I’m ever in a position to help someone I believe in and care about break through, I’m going to always do it.
The confirming synchronicity:
A couple of hours later, after my second letting go, I sat down to complete Day 3 of the Integrated Wealth Advisor 21-Day Calibration, and as I listened to the meditation, I smiled.
As I’ve shared, I processed a couple of major moments of letting go earlier in the day, and my smile was caused by the theme of the day’s meditation: letting go.
I share this story for two reasons:
1.) To let anyone processing the need to let go know that I understand the difficulty and the struggle. You’re not alone, but if you’re aware of the need to let go, then you need to let go. I haven’t experienced this yet with the two most recent “letting-gos”, but usually when you let go, you get what you need next to continue on your Pursuit.
2.) Pay attention to the recurring themes: energy mapping, two realizations, and the meditation's theme. None of these were directly connected, but they were fully connected through me.
See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,
JC
