What I Wish I’d Said
Reflections from a Fireside Chat on Money and Purpose
About a month ago, I had the opportunity to join a unique group of men for a fireside chat about aligning their finances with their purpose. As I prepared for the trip, I initially thought about giving a talk as if I were on a stage, speaking to hundreds of people without the chance to engage with the audience. But as I thought more about the environment, the size of the group, and the closeness of the men, I decided to keep the evening more relaxed—have a few important points to discuss, share personal stories to help build trust with the men, and encourage them to participate and share their own stories.
I'm so glad I didn't try to make the evening about me being an expert with all the answers. I went to bed that night feeling as if I had facilitated a meaningful discussion that gave some of the men new ideas to consider, allowed some to share intimate, vulnerable stories with their brothers, and gave the group permission to begin to redefine their relationship with money. It ended up being the conversation and evening it was meant to be.
When I woke up the next morning, I couldn't help but replay the evening in my mind and think about things I wished I had said. While I waited for my ride to the airport, I grabbed my notebook and wrote those ideas out so I could revisit them later here on AlignedLife.
Here are a few things I wish I had shared with the group or points I wish I had emphasized more:
While money will take care of itself when you align spirit, mind, and body, we can't be naive about what that actually means.
There are many hopeful people waiting for money to show up. They've read the books. They've set intentions. They believe in manifestation. And they're stuck wondering why nothing's changing.
Here's what I should have said more clearly: alignment isn't passive. When I say money takes care of itself, I don't mean you sit back and wait for the Universe to deliver abundance to your doorstep. I mean that when you're living your Authentic Life—when your spirit, mind, and body are aligned—you naturally make different choices. You show up differently. You create differently. You attract differently.
The work is in the alignment, not in the waiting.
Money responds to that coherence, but it still requires you to participate. It requires stewardship. It requires you to take action from that aligned place rather than from fear or scarcity. The hope isn't that money will magically appear. The hope is that when you're aligned, you'll see the opportunities that were always there and you'll have the clarity to act on them.
The Authentic Life is not perfect. The Authentic Life will still have tough times. I worry sometimes that when I talk about alignment and living authentically, it sounds like I'm promising some kind of struggle-free existence. That's not what I mean, and I wish I had been more explicit about this with the group.
Things won't always go as planned. Hard work will be required. Markets will shift. Clients will leave. Unexpected expenses will appear. Life doesn't suddenly become easy just because you're living aligned with your purpose.
But here's the difference: the tough times and hard work won't feel as tough and hard as they would if you were living an inauthentic life.
When you're doing work that doesn't align with who you are, every challenge feels like confirmation that you're on the wrong path. When you're living someone else's definition of success, every setback feels personal. When you're chasing money instead of stewarding it, every financial pressure feels like a threat to your worth.
But when you're living your Authentic Life, challenges become part of the journey rather than evidence you're failing. The hard work feels meaningful because it's your work. The tough times don't shake your foundation because you know you're exactly where you're supposed to be.
It's still important to have foundations. Living aligned doesn't mean abandoning financial wisdom. Savings. Investments. Tax strategies. Insurance. Estate plans. These are all important aspects of a sound financial plan, and living aligned with your Authentic Life does not replace the need for a strong financial foundation.
Sometimes when I talk about consciousness and energy and alignment, people hear it as permission to ignore the practical aspects of money. That's not what I'm saying.
Your Authentic Life will help shape the details of your foundation. It will inform how much you save and what you invest in and where you give. It will guide the specifics. But there is no escaping the need for solid financial foundations.
The spirituality of money doesn't negate the mathematics of money. Both matter. Both are real. The goal is to bring them into alignment so that your financial plan reflects your values rather than contradicting them.
Success is defined by you, not anyone else. This is something the group seemed to grasp intuitively, but I wish I had given them more permission to really own it.
Society is relentless in telling us what success should look like. A certain title. A certain income. A certain house in a certain neighborhood. A certain retirement number. And we absorb these metrics without questioning whether they actually mean anything to us.
What if your version of success looks completely different? What if it's freedom to spend Tuesdays with your kids instead of a corner office? What if it's creating art that matters to a small audience instead of maximizing profit? What if it's living simply in a place you love instead of accumulating wealth you never use?
The Authentic Life requires you to define success for yourself. Not based on what your parents wanted. Not based on what your peers are doing. Not based on what Instagram says you should have.
Your success. Your definition. Your life.
Rich and poor are terms we associate with money that really only reflect numbers. You can live a rich life without tons of money. If you have all you need, are loved and love, and are doing what you feel called to do in life, you are living a rich life. The numbers in your bank account don't change that truth.
Conversely, there are many unhappy billionaires living in poverty, despite being "rich" by society's standards. They have the money but not the richness. They're rich in resources but poor in spirit.
Being rich is about accumulation—it's measured in numbers and possessions. Being wealthy is about alignment—it's measured in peace and purpose and the freedom to live authentically.
You can be rich without being wealthy. You can be wealthy without being rich. The goal isn't to choose one over the other—it's to bring them into alignment so that your financial life supports your Authentic Life rather than contradicting it.
The current system isn't fair and hasn't been fair. We don't all start from the same place. Some of us are born on third base, while others don't even start from first. These inequalities—based on race, gender, geography, family circumstances, access to education and resources—make it harder for some to have the opportunity to discover their Authentic Life and even harder to actually live it.
I want to be clear: I'm not naive about privilege. I'm not suggesting that consciousness work alone solves systemic inequality. I'm not claiming that everyone has equal access to the path I'm describing.
But I do believe everyone has the opportunity and agency to pursue their Authentic Life within their circumstances. Not everyone will have the same ease. Not everyone will face the same obstacles. But everyone has something unique to offer the world, and everyone deserves the chance to discover what that is.
Those of us with the privilege of being able to live our Authentic Lives have a responsibility. We need to encourage others. We need to show what is possible. And when able, we need to help others access the opportunities that came more easily to us.
Society loves to tell people what isn't possible, keeping so many people trapped in lives they wouldn't choose for themselves. The story we tell needs to change to give everyone permission to pursue their Authentic Life. But we also need to be real in acknowledging that it won't always be easy or fair along the way.
The journey toward authenticity isn't equally accessible to everyone. That's a truth we need to hold alongside the truth that it's still possible. Both can be true at once.
In order to improve your relationship with money, you need to elevate your consciousness. This is perhaps the most important thing I wish I had emphasized more with the group.
Operating from lower levels of consciousness—where fear, scarcity, shame, and control dominate—feeds a destructive relationship with money. When you're stuck in survival mode, every financial decision becomes a referendum on your safety. When you're operating from guilt, every dollar spent feels like evidence of your inadequacy. When you're controlled by what others think, your financial life becomes a performance rather than a reflection of who you are.
But as you elevate your consciousness—as you move toward greater self-awareness, acceptance, and alignment—your relationship with money naturally transforms. You begin to see money as energy rather than as security. You begin to make decisions from clarity rather than fear. You begin to trust that you'll have what you need rather than constantly grasping for more.
This isn't about becoming more spiritual or more evolved than other people. It's about becoming more yourself. It's about shedding the conditioning and stories that keep you stuck so you can see money clearly for what it actually is.
And when you can see clearly, everything changes.
The evening ended the way it was meant to, even with these thoughts left unsaid. But I'm grateful for the morning after, when these ideas crystallized in my mind. Sometimes the most important insights come not from what we say in the moment, but from what we realize we should have said.
That's the invitation I'm extending now—to you and to myself: to keep refining the message, to keep finding clearer language, to keep offering permission for people to rewrite their story about money and what it means to live well.
Because the story we tell ourselves about money shapes the life we're able to live. And it's time to write a better one.
Keep pursuing,
JC
