holotropic breathwork and winks from the Universe
This morning, I did a holotropic breathwork session, and it was another special session. This was the third year in a row that I’ve done a session while spending a few days in Sedona with a few friends, and each one is special in its own right. And just like past years, the day was full of more winks from the Universe than usual.
Before the session, I noticed a deck of spirit animal cards. I’ve had some pretty cool experiences drawing tarot cards in the past, so I thought I’d draw one ahead of the breathwork to see if it would provide any context to what was in store for me.
I drew a scorpion, which represented “letting go of anything holding you back so you make space for new transformations to occur.”
Letting go has been a theme for me for the last few years—I’ve written about it some, but have spent more time assessing what needs to be let go and on what timeframe in private. I find the timing of the scorpion card to be a continuation of how I felt after the J. Cole concert—I let go of some internal narratives that no longer served me. I think the scorpion will stay with me for a bit longer.
During the session, I experienced something that is hard to explain and probably sounds a little out there. At one point during the session (I don’t remember when because there is no sense of time), I could feel my body as energy vibrating at what felt like a very high frequency. I’m not sure if it was truly an out-of-body experience, but I was definitely experiencing my body from an energetic standpoint, not a physical one.
I didn’t feel my physical body.
I felt the vibrational energy that creates my physical body.
I’m not sure why I had that experience, but here is a connection I’ve made as I’ve thought about today’s experience:
After feeling the vibrational energy of my body, I later heard a voice tell me “I’ve shown you who you are. You know what is supposed to be.”
I took this as a message to keep trusting the Authentic version of my Self, because what I’ve been shown is who I am. I also think it had to do with my recent internal shift after the J. Cole concert and my new mantra, “why not me?” The shift is leading me to a version of my Self that I’ve recently discovered I was afraid to become. I think this message was also confirming the shift.
If I go back to feeling the vibrational energy of my Self, it was at such a high level that I feel it matches the level of the future version of my Self I am moving towards.
These two experiences feel connected and confirm each other.
When we got home, I received a wink from the Divine that felt to be an extension of the breathwork experience.
I was standing out on the patio looking out at the mountains when I noticed a visitor on the screen door.
Thanks to a quick Google search, I learned (copied from a Google AI answer—I’ve bolded the parts that I felt were relevant to me):
“This is a Brunner’s stick mantis (Brunneria borealis), also widely known as the northern grass mantis.
While most praying mantises have distinct, broad triangular heads and wider bodies, this unique species is highly adapted to look exactly like a blade of grass or a walking stick.
Key Facts About Your Visitor
• The Ultimate Camouflage: They are incredibly slender and carry their mouthparts pointing forward rather than downward, allowing them to blend seamlessly into lawns, fields, and tall grasses.
• A Species of Only Females: This species is famously unique because there are no males. They reproduce entirely through a process called parthenogenesis, meaning the females create perfect genetic clones of themselves without needing a mate.
• Color Shifting: While they are often bright green, their color can naturally vary into shades of pinkish-brown, tan, or grey to match drying grass as summer changes into autumn.
• Flightless Helpers: The adults have highly reduced, tiny wings and cannot fly. They rely on sitting completely still on surfaces like your window screen to ambush unsuspecting garden pests like grasshoppers.Spiritual and Symbolic Meaning
In addition to the general traits of stillness and patience associated with all praying mantises, a brown or stick-shaped mantis holds specific symbolic weight:
• Groundedness and Adaptability: The brown coloring represents a strong connection to the earth, stability, and blending into your environment rather than forcing your presence.
• Independence and Self-Reliance: Because this specific species thrives and sustains its entire lineage on its own without a mate, encountering one is often interpreted as a powerful sign of inner strength, self-sufficiency, and trusting your own independent path.
• Invisible Power: Because it looks just like a stick or a piece of dry grass, it serves as a symbolic reminder that you don't need to make a lot of noise to be highly effective—there is immense power in quiet observation.”
The visit from the Brunner’s stick mantis reminds me of the visit we had from a whiptail lizard after our first breathwork session three two years ago—we went into the session with a focus on growth, only to be greeted by a whiptail lizard on a curtain. Yep, you guessed it—the whiptail lizard represents growth.
Our last day here in Sedona was a magical day—and that doesn’t even include the two coyotes we saw just outside of our driveway and a rainbow later in the day.
Our guide told us to pay attention and notice any special moments because the breathwork can really open us up. I’d say I certainly experienced a number of special moments, all of which made sense to me.
It would be easy to dismiss all of this as coincidence or an exaggeration of what happened, and maybe you’d be right. However, I long ago gave up on coincidence, as I no longer believe moments like this are coincidences.
Keep pursuing,
JC
