“am I authentic?”
This morning, a close friend shared in a text message that he had been struggling with the word “authenticity”.
What did it really mean?
Was he always being authentic?
He shared that he had finally defined what it meant to him to be authentic, and I have to admit, the realization that he came to was PERFECT.
I told him that when I think of the definition of authenticity, it comes down to values. To be authentic, all you have to do is remain true to your Self, which requires doing the work to know your Self, and not compromise your values.
Being authentic does not mean you only do what you want or that you don’t have to adapt to the settings you find your Self in. There will be situations where you find yourself unable to show up fully the way you would choose. For example, one day I will find my Self in a situation that will call for me to wear a suit. Since starting my company, I’ve shunned suits, with a couple of exceptions, like when I was on Bloomberg. I wouldn’t choose to wear a suit if I didn’t have to, but being on TV meant I had to rock one.
Showing up in a suit didn’t make me inauthentic, and in the interview, I showed up fully as my Self—just in a suit. I didn’t change the investment beliefs I held because I was on Bloomberg, I held onto my boring investment values despite the temptation to try to be someone they’d want to have back on more often. You can code-switch without being inauthentic; code-switching doesn’t mean compromising your values.
The things we often attribute to showing our authenticity, like fashion, have little to do with our authenticity. They are also often expressions of our Selves that evolve, and we might even change over time. I think people often mistake authenticity for what people see (the external), when it’s really what people feel when they are around us (the internal).
Authenticity is sometimes difficult in practice.
But, authenticity is simple in definition—staying true to your Self and never compromise what you stand for—aka your values.
See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,
JC
Some ways I might be able to help you live your Authentic Life:
🤝 One-on-Ones Let's hop on Zoom to do a guided meditation, a creative brainstorming session, or an overcoming an obstacle session.
💸 AlignedLife+ A unique relationship offered at Santiago that combines life planning, financial planning and advice, and ongoing coaching to help you discover your authentic life, design a plan to bring that life to your reality, and support to help you evolve with the evolution of your authentic life. Learn more here.
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